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Operation World Domination
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21st-Jan-2007 06:24 pm - Yikes and Geez
curtain
Dear Everyone,

Copenhagen is pretty super but I miss all of you. It's crazy though, there are five other girls from Mount Holyoke here this semester. I don't have any classes with them but two of them are studying architecture so I will see them all the time and the other three (Ashley and Chessy!) live in the same complex that I do, so I'll see them quite a bit. I think we're going to make plans to take over WMHC. Not that we haven't already anyway. But yeah. Pretty super.

So all the new students arrived today and I helped out at orientation. I wasn't excited for this semester to begin AT ALL but now that all the new people arrived I'm all set. Having Mount Holyoke people here makes me miss school but I like it here a ton so it's okay.

Carmen and Adam just visited me and that was pretty super. They were only here for 3 days but we had a great time. I wish we could have done more, but that's okay. Eva will be visiting me soon so that is fantastic. I think my parents are coming too, which is not quite as exciting (or at all) but oh well. Maybe I can convince them to be more supportive.

Chark visited me here at the beginning of January and that was amazing. Short but great and I'm really looking forward to this summer in Portland with him. By the way, I think that everyone should go to Portland this summer. I don't know how that work but it would be super fun. If you can't come, that's find though because I'll have Chark, other Reed kids, Greer and Kelly around, but still. It would be super fun. I think I managed to get Carmen to seriously consider it. We'll see!

So yeah. I don't have much to say really....last semester was great. I love architecture (but maybe just studying it, I don't know how much I would like working at a firm doing boring things...I think I would rather do conceptural work). Last semester was a great learning experience, unfortunately I got mono. This semester should be a thousand times better than last based on that.

I love you and miss you all. I'm sorry for not posting more often. And I'm sorry for not having much to say. I'm super though, I promise, and hopefully I will post pictures soon, because that's the coolest thing to do in the world. This is poorly written, but I'm having difficulties caring.

Love,
Tanya FonSEXa
20th-Jan-2007 06:59 pm(no subject)
Hey guys!

Shit yo, I'm so mad excited to go back to school. I just got my rooming assignment yesterday: 309 Ham. Now, living in Ham sucks, right? Like, I just lived in MacG last year and it's way in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, unless you live at the gym, which I don't. BUT, 309 is a SINGLE. So I'm pretty much the most excited person on the PLA-NET right now. Mostly cause for the past eight months I've been in my "room" at mom's, which is actually a futon next to the kitchen. Yeah, it's pretty baller.
So today I woke up early (11am) cause I was so excited for my own room and how to decorate it. Mom and I went to the great indoors (which is basically an overpriced bed bath & beyond. we bought nothing), bed bath & byond (bought something) and ikea. i got two new rugs and a nightstand.
But mostly I just can't wait to see everyone again. And to not have the social center of the world be on the other side of campus. Although I do plan on visiting Alli. Another good thing about living in Ham too is that Sing-Song is in the basement and Grace is on the 5th floor. So I'm seeing a few Ham parties in our future.
17th-Jan-2007 11:40 pm(no subject)
smiling, portrait
Hellooooooo

I'm in Miami now. Can't say I like it much, but that wasn't why I came here. At least the weather is nice... maybe a bit humid for my taste, but since it's not below 50 degrees I can't complain.

The drive down was fine, mostly. The highlights were singing along (as loudly as possible, might I add) to the songs on the radio. Yesssss.

Anyway. I'm wide awake, and Stephan is asleep next to me. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow because he'll be in class all day and I'll have to sit here and occupy myself in this shithole of a house. Luckily he has a cat who I can play with.

It probably sounds like I'm not having that much fun, but given the circumstances things are fine and I'm doing okay. Mentally I've been out of sorts lately, but having had a lot of time to sit and think has allowed me to better approach the things that have been bothering me and I'm beginning to regain a healthier outlook on my life. Except my body, which I'm still unhappy with. That's another story.

I can't say I'm necessarily looking forward to this semester, mostly because so many of you are gone and it'll be a far cry from our adventures last year. Still, I think the rest of us who WILL be at school will make the best of it and hopefully we'll have good times that we can brag about to you guys next year and make you feel bad that you weren't there to make them better. Just kidding. No, but seriously.
9th-Jan-2007 08:10 pm - j-term
I'm back in Dickinson, back with Marga, back with the same porch. She has been living in Diandra's old room (212, we used to live in 213) all semester with Emily Wheeler, but Emily moved out, so I moved in for J-term. I don't know what the situation will be for the semester, but it would be sweet if I could keep this room to myself. I figure it would take awhile before someone will come knocking on my tiny door in far away dickinson, looking for an open double to move into, and I could probably talk them out of it.

I'm takeing a really great class with Battaglia about socio/economic class at MHC, and we're making a film about it, which will be shown in March. It's really exciting because I'm getting to learn about filming.

My emotions have been like a yo-yo recently, especially with Bill. I have not been able to feel untainted, unquestioned, unjaded love since my parents' divorce, but I can't just blame it on them, that was just the start. This summer was extremely emotional for both of us, separately and together, and we grew a lot, but I couldn't help but feeling like a lot of that growth was happening alone together. For the first time I was feeling like there were things going on in my head that I couldn't/didn't want to share with him. Which freaks me out. The going abroad was... hard, of course. We were 'on a break' at my request, though it really made no difference in the amount that we interacted with each other, which was about the maximum in such minimized opportunities.
Coming back, I can only describe my emotions as vulnerable. I was really happy in Kenya, and I didn't want it to end. I kept trying to push Bill away because I was too exhausted to explain anything, let alone everything. I found myself being unreasonably irritated with him, and I think I was just frustrated and unfamiliar with the feeling of being misunderstood by the person who understands me more completely than anyone else. It kept getting worse and worse, and I just couldn't access or experience the love I wanted to feel for him. I just felt kind of numb. I tried to cover it up, but it got to the breaking point where I finally had to tell him what I was feeling, and I told him I wasn't sure we would be able to stay together, especially not after college. I cried a lot, obviously. Then as I was resting my head on his chest, with his snot-covered handkerchief in my hand that I had been using to blow my nose, I started to feel a memory of loving him. The thought of really, actually breaking up with him started to feel a whole lot more absurd than being with him, and I realized I knew all along why I was in love with him.
And since then I've never loved him so much. He very conveniently got a cold that day, and I was able to coddle him, make him soup, tuck him in, check his temperature and look concerned to help heal my indifference and irritation toward him. I'm really really happy to be with him and I feel really lucky to have him, I guess I just worry about how I felt so unsure and then suddenly so intensely in love again. It makes me wonder if the sadness was the phase, or the happiness, or if we're riding a pendulum that will keep swinging back and forth.

So I wasn't intending to write so much about Bill, but I guess when I comes out, it comes out.
I miss Kenya, but it keeps getting more and more distant, which I hate, although it's nice to feel more settled here again. I've been getting a lot of e-mails from my friends in Kenya, and it makes me so happy and sad at once. They're written english is sometimes really really choppy and incorrect, in contrast when they speak and they can explain themselves by looking me in the eye, smiling, using their hands, pointing, using inflections, repeating themselves, asking a buddy for a translation. Maybe they're just more expressive physically around me, but come to think of it, I think they just use a more pronounced and obvious body language than we do. One time, a guy friend and I were high and he wanted to tell me the story of Adam and Hawa(eve), but he was too high to think in English, so he did it in Arabic instead. Now, of course I know the story so overall comprehension wasn't the issue, but I knew basically what he was saying when just because of the emphasis, the voices, the hand gestures, the pauses. Oh boy I really hope I can make it back this summer. Anybody wanna come with me?
1st-Jan-2007 06:07 pm(no subject)
so, i know i haven't posted in a long time, and not really for any good reason except that i have some sort of life going on that doesn't seem to accomodate for too much livejournal and facebook time. in fact, i'm only writing now because i'm terribly lonely and emotional and it's raining. lucas is gone for a few days, which isn't so bad, but it's depressing because he's one of the few people i know here. and now i'm alone in this big cold apartment until thursday. god, i'm lame. i'd like to attribute all of my tears and whatnot to hormones, but that would be misleading, though not entirely untrue. i don't know what i'm doing with my life. lucas came up with a 54-year plan for me, in which i either end up as president or un secretary general. sounds great, but what if i spend all of my life trying to get there, trying to make a difference, and i fail? and when do i get to become a midwife and travel the world? and what about having kids and a family? yesterday he caught me off guard a few times with casual references to our future together. this is what i want more than anything, but it seems that our plans for at least the next few years conflict. oh love, why are you so trying?
31st-Dec-2006 02:48 pm - Parting Words for 2006
A year is a very long and a very short amount of time.
A lot can happen. A lot can be forgotten. More can be remembered.
I wouldn't do this year again for all the money in the world.

Here's to 2007. I'll see you in the light.
29th-Dec-2006 05:33 pm - sukkun??
I'm practicing my "arabic." that means i'm learning to redistingush the sounds that sound the same and pronounce/sound out words. attempt dictation, poorly.

i really want to go WWOOfng in Nova Scotia. They have a few farms that are looking for help from mid-march to April to help with lambing season!! how wonderful. WWOOFing rocks because you get free room and board in return for labor on a farm in a new place. new experiences, and the hosts get really cheap labor and get to meet new, interesting people. I guess both parties are taking a bit of a risk, like a host family type of situation. We'll see how I feel in a few months.

I still feel pretty unstable. The seeming randomness of reality bothers me terribly, and the fact that we are but insignificant blips in time. And my humanitarian side and my darwinistic side keep clashing, confusing me deeply about what I should believe and try to work toward in life. My daddy says I'm trying to be a cynic, but it's not working because I'm not one at heart. I've been getting very upset over why it's okay to kill flys that are inside, but we save ladybugs. This is representitive of a larger dilemma.

Anyway, much love and a Happy New Year! My goodness, 2007. See you there!
29th-Dec-2006 05:24 pm - heros
<img src="http://www.tomuphoto.com/mammals/baby%20goats.jpg"
28th-Dec-2006 04:37 pm(no subject)
smiling, portrait
It's weird writing here now that I'm back in the United States and have nothing exciting to say (or do, for that matter). Oh well. In a couple of days Stephan and I are flying to Germany, so I guess technically I'll be back abroad!

I'm really looking forward to this. I keep having meltdowns being here, so it'll be nice to get away.

AND... hopefully we'll see Carmen, and we will be seeing Eva. YAY!
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